How to Have a Wedding in Chicago without Inviting Children
It can be incredibly controversial when planning your wedding whether or not you will be inviting children to be a part of your wedding day. Once you determine that you would like to have your wedding without children involved, it is best to plan ahead to make sure that you run into the least amount of problems with your family and friends. Here is the best way to plan accordingly when not planning on inviting kids to your wedding.
Set the Rules
Many people opt to have the only children as the nieces and nephews, but you also should set a specific age limit if you’re worried about teenagers coming as well. Whether you plan on having no kids under 13 or only guests over 18 or 21, it’s important to figure out where your line is that you plan on drawing so you can inform your guests accordingly. If you plan on having certain children in your wedding party, you will also need to kind of figure this out ahead of time.
2. Tell People Early
If you have any guests that you know have children, it is best to tell them directly and as early as possible that you are planning on having an adult-only event. You’ll also want to inform your family or friends of any specific children that will be requested to come - if you’re having siblings’ children as your wedding party members, you’ll want to let them know or ask them as soon as possible so they can make plans for accommodations and logistics for the day. And if you have any guests you expect that will be upset to see certain kids are allowed, you’ll want to let them know as well to expect your nieces and nephews to be a part of the wedding but those will be the only children involved.
3. Explain the Benefits
We have worked a lot of weddings that have had kids included, whether it’s just the nieces and nephews or many kids are involved, and we constantly hear from their parents that it is a completely different, tiring, frustrating thing to have to go to a wedding and manage your children no matter the age. If you let your guests know that they will likely have a better time - even if it’s more brief than expected - if they get a sitter and have a date night for the night. There are definitely parents that won’t feel this way, but there are many that will genuinely enjoy the night out a lot more if they don’t have to worry about managing their kids throughout the quiet ceremony and speeches or make sure they don’t run too crazy during the reception.
4. Have Clear Language on Invitations
“Adult Only Event” Language is going to ensure that your guests know exactly what kind of wedding you’re planning on having. You’ll definitely want to put this on any wedding websites but I also recommend adding this to your invitation to make sure that your guests know exactly what to expect. Many people add this as an FAQ for their wedding website and may even let them know that there will be the nieces and nephews in the wedding party but the rest of the children should stay with a sitter so you can let loose for the evening!
5. Manage Your Own Expectations
No matter how many children you have in your family, there will likely be parents that will decline to come to the wedding due to the fact that their children aren’t invited. Whether it’s because it is too complicated or too expensive to find childcare, have sports or other obligations with their kids, or just want to spend the time with them, it’s best to prepare yourself a little bit for the folks who will decline. If you really will be more bummed about those people not coming than not having the kids at the wedding, it might be worth reconsidering if that is actually what you want.
In our experience, the weddings that don’t have children involved generally are slightly smoother and more relaxed. I personally recommend if you are on the fence about inviting children to your wedding that you actually have an adult-only event, because it tends to be more stressful for you and your guests both. There are so many factors that are influence by the fact that there are kids involved and sometimes it’s more worth keeping the kids at home than the stress that it brings on everyone. If you’re planning on not having children at your wedding, it’s best to follow these steps so that everyone involved knows exactly what to expect for your wedding day!
If you are in need of any specific advice or need some extra help figuring out how to tell your guests, you can reach out to me here to set up a quick consultation for us to work together for your own wedding resource!
