Wedding planning should be a mostly fun period of your life, but there are definitely times that things can be really hard. When you are dealing with loss and grieving for your family and friends that have passed on, it is really hard to know how to honor them on your wedding day. If it is too painful and difficult to handle for your wedding day, you can always opt to do small gestures if you want to recognize them on your day. There are also many ways that you can make sure your guests know that you want to recognize and honor your loved ones that are no longer with us. Here are some ways that you can honor them at your wedding day:

Reserve a chair

At the ceremony or the reception, you can make sure to have an empty chair to honor the person that has passed on. You can add a sign or a picture to be placed in that place to really show the person that should have been there as well.

Add a charm or special item to your bouquet or boutonniere

Many people buy a charm that has a picture of the person they have lost and add it to the stem of their bouquet or the front of their boutonniere. This is a way to have them included in your ceremony and to be there with you while walking down the aisle.

Moment of silence

During your ceremony or reception, you can request that your officiant or your DJ can make an announcement that you would like to honor those who are no longer with us with a moment of silence. They can also name specific people that you would like to honor if you would like.

Have a memorial or memory table

A common way that people acknowledge their loved ones is to have picture frames with their faces placed on a designated table. Typically, people will add a sign that says something like “In memory of those that are no longer with us”.

Doing something they loved

If your loved ones had a special thing that they did at weddings or in general, you can make sure to incorporate it into your wedding day. They may have done a silly dance, or taken a shot of a specific drink, or maybe had a special saying that they had that you can say in a speech.

Incorporate a favorite item of theirs

A way to give a nod to your loved ones that have passed is to have a subtle, or not subtle, addition to your decorations or design of your wedding. Some people will add their loved ones favorite flower to your bouquets, or a favorite color to your wedding colors. You can also have a favorite song of your loved ones play during a special moment, like during your walk down the aisle, during cocktail hour, or during your reception.

Light a candle

Many couples opt to have a candle lit in honor of their loved ones during the ceremony and/or the reception. Usually this is accompanied with photos at a memory table or at a table with your guests or near you.

Sewing in a clothing item or favorite color

If you have any items of clothing that belonged to your loved one, you can ask at your alterations appointment if they can sew a heart-shaped piece of their clothing inside your dress or suit. If you don’t have any of their clothes still, you can also do this with a heart of their favorite color.

Toast with their favorite drink

You may want your guests to know that you are honoring your loved ones a little more directly. In this case, during a “thank you speech” for your guests, you can say that you would like to honor your loved ones with a toast using their favorite drink.

Grieving and wedding planning unfortunately often is hand in hand. Many couples planning their wedding struggle to also face that their wedding will happen without some people that are really important to you. If this is the case for you, please know that you aren’t alone in this. This is a huge chapter of your life and it really is so hard to have this moment without those important people still by your side. Make sure to talk with your family and friends through this time of your life and if you’re able, it’s a good time to talk with a therapist as well.